oh wow look at all those pictures!!  Sheesh make me CRY RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING LIBRARY!!!!

But you guys all look so good and mom you are not even fat.  And Drew and Mason both look like they got hipster haircuts. WOW.  Haden looks like he's taller than dad and mason now hahah FINALLY!

Sounds like you guys had a blast this weekend.  How great.  Fun times in good ol STG and cole swaggin on the soccer field... what a dream.

SO FUNNY YOU RAN INTO LAKYN AND WIL AT THEIR WEDDING MOM HAHAHAHAHA!!!!  Jordyn freaking went to the wedding and all my friends emailed me about how weird it was.  Also mason brought amber home?!  I know amber.  Is he in love with her?  Because he always said he thought she was pretty cute.  WOW mason you can't get married until next july.

Glad to hear the blessed 65th anniversary party went smoothly.  And gramps got grandma a ring.  Classic.  

WELL in case you were wondering about me.

I will tell you this week was mos def somethin else.

I mean I knew it was coming haha I have had 2 peaches of companions to begin with.  So my new comp is Sister Stilson- she was in my MTC district.

I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER saying to myself "oh boy.... if ever am comps with her...."  If i could compare her to anyone it would be Stephanie Snow.  Mom, you know what i mean!!!!

Low and behold.  I totally saw it coming.

So this week has been very different than the other weeks of my mission.

Really...difficult.

She's been with a companion for the past three transfers who was sick apparently so they slept..... a lot a lot a lot of their time away.

I don't know how to handle this at alllllll.

You know I really am trying to be loving and charitable.  I mean... I just need to let go of all the things that annoyed me in the MTC and just love and be christ-like BUT SOMETIMES there are just those people who rub ya not so right.  Like your personalities just don't click.  This is one of those times.

Ya feel me?

But she will get up and run with me and she has really sweet music on her ipod and she's good in lessons.  So there's some positives for all my negative nancy.  

BLAH I can't even do missionary work either.  I have literally hit rock bottom.  I just feel like I can't doooo ittt.  I try and try and NO ONE progresses and I mean it's because I am just not really cut out for this DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

I just haven't caught that drift that pretty much every other missionary has caught where they are just rockstar teachers and studiers and explainers and spirit bringers and all their investigators progress and the problem is, I DON'T FREAKING KNOW HOW TO CATCH THAT DRIFT!!!

I must have left the pills at home that the first presidency sends out with your call letter that help you be the best missionary ever.

Needless to say my week was just blehg.  If i could throw-up all over my week i would.

I'm sorry that i'm bumming so hard in this letter but i really don't know what to say.

heh you shouldn't put this letter on the blog or let anyone read it cause that's embarrassing.

Anyway.

We had a really good week visiting less actives though.  We got in with a lot of families that i've been trying to get with for a while.  And some of them even came to church so that was just sweet.  We also found some more new investigators so that was such a blessing.  And I'm driving full time now so watch out.

We taught sharing time in primary yesterday and that was really fun.  This past week i've been able to realize how much I love the ward i'm serving in and i'm so grateful for these people who i really have grown to love.

I have been thinking a lot lately about losing yourself in the work and how that really is the thing i need to do BUT I feel like I have been trying to do that for the past 5 months and I really don't know how.  

But on a good note, I started reading Jesus the Christ hahhahaha I cannot understand a word of that book i think it's written in a different language.

Also along the lines of studies- i read this ensign article the other day that talks about the differences of reading, studying, pondering, and feasting.  Feasting upon the scriptures is what brings the fullness of what the scriptures have to offer.  I often feel like i merely read/ponder when in reality i need to be focusing so much more.  Not worrying about how much i read but how much i get out of what i read.

WELP, this is where the line ends.  I will love my comp if mason sends me an email.  

done deal.

i love you guys a lot.  I also love the lord.  Maybe i'll be a better freakin missionary by next weeks email.  HAHAHA SERIOUSLY